当记者不会很富有,但是从新闻事件中获得的心智成长,从众生里窥见的人性庄严,是记者生涯中弥足珍贵的宝藏。
报馆曾交给我一项任务,不是什么大新闻,只是将一张义款支票交给受惠者,也不用写新闻。
清晨,我抵达受惠者的家,是一位年龄与我相仿的女子。微风的晨光里面,她用小刀整理隔天早上要卖的蔬菜;她是一位菜贩,与我见面时已从市场卖完菜回家。她问我多少岁,然后悠悠的说,你看起来真的还很年轻;而我,却觉得眼前这位才大我一岁的母亲,脸上布满了风霜雨露的沧桑,有着稀疏又泛白的头发。
她生儿子时,医生已告诉她,她的肾在渐渐失去功能,幸运的话可以再用10年,不幸的话只能再用5年;她是不幸的那个!大儿子5岁时,她开始洗肾,也在那不久,她丈夫因忧虑过度车祸去世。从大儿子出世到19岁,她换肾再换肾,大腿与手臂都做过血管移植手术,以便继续洗肾活命。
这是天下最伟大的爱
卖菜与洗肾是她的生活,此外,17岁的小儿子的叛逆教她揪心不已,只求孩子能学得一技之长。早熟的大儿子白天工作,晚上读书,自立自强,她最放心。她说,大儿子想要把一个肾移植给她,但她坚持不要,声声说儿子有大好的人生和前途,她自己不要紧。只要孩子过得好,远胜拥有一个健康的肾。
走时,她小女儿准备要去上学,小小的身躯,头上梳着两条辫子,缓缓地背影走向阳光,就像一幅图。这是她与第二任丈夫生的女儿,不过他已离开她。她边说边削掉手菜叶烂掉的局部,告诉我什么是生活——“生活就是继续走下去。”
我不禁一问:“为何身体那么差,生活那么苦,还要再生孩子?”她告诉我:“你不知道,当你病时,有孩子在身边,真的很好······。”她很含糊的说“好”,我闪过个念头:“好?像自私了点?”
人家说,生一个孩子,疼痛的指数是9.7分,而用刀把手割开,疼痛的指数是9分,也就是说,生孩子比刀割还痛呢,但为何女人们生了之后,还要再生呢?
左思右想,唯一能解释的就一个“爱”字;那是一种爱。
“儿子啊,妈妈不要你的肾······”这句话在我耳际环绕不停。离开时,我觉得风和日丽,真是美好。
[摘自星洲日报活力副刊,文:郑梅娇(新山)]I always ask myself: “Why is it everything changes?” In fact, that is how life is. In modern science, we know nothing at all has lasting characteristic. At subatomic level, everything is changing. We are impermanent, and the influences of changes are also impermanent. There is nothing solid or lasting.
If we sit quietly and introspect our mind, it is constantly changing too.
I read from a book, says: The cells of our body are dying, the neurons in our brain are decaying, even the expression on our face is always changing, depending on our mood. What we call our basic character is only a “mind stream,” nothing more.
Do we have any idea what we are going to think or feel next? Look at a thought of ours: it comes, it stays, and it goes. The past is past, the future not yet arisen, and even the present thought, as soon as I mention it, it becomes the past. What is gone is gone. What has not come is unpredictable. The only thing we really have is now!
There is a traditional practice of meditation which is bringing our mind home and to become aware of the present moment.
Sit in a posture which is comfortable to you and would not hurt your back. Close your eyes and turn your attention to breathing. You observe the air coming in your nostrils and the air going out your nostrils. You are training your mind in the art of living, to learn how to live in the present moment.
It is nothing magical. Observing your breathing and be with it, as it is: live in the present. As you do that, you will realize the mind wanders away because of its old habit pattern, and again you bring it back to the present moment. Turn your attention back to your breathing.
Another thing you will notice: the mind wanders in the past or it wanders in the future. There are only two types of thoughts that keep coming: pleasant or unpleasant. Whether it’s a pleasant or unpleasant thought of the past or the future, accept the fact that your mind wanders away. As soon as you realize it, bring your attention back to your breathing.
As you become more mindful of your breathing, you will find that you become more and more present, gather all your scattered aspects back into yourself and become whole.
It is useful to do at least a 30 minutes sitting everyday. Some people might think sitting for 30 minutes without doing anything is a waste of time and worry they might become inactive or inert. In fact, a sitting like this will make us more aware on the present moment and make us more concentrating on what we are doing. When we are doing something, sometimes our mind wanders away and this is the practice of bringing our mind back.
In the middle of January, I was invited to Danny Koh and Justine Toh’s wedding dinner at the Avillion Legacy Melaka. It was a very sweet wedding dinner especially when the photo slideshow from the time they met and shared every special moments together was presented to the guests.
Danny and Justine, my sincere congratulations on this auspicious event of yours. Bellow are some of the shots I took during the wedding dinner:
Last weekend I was invited to snap photos for the menu of Ke Man Lou restaurant (客满楼)and also to have lunch with the Celine and staff there.
The Chinese restaurant, Ke Man Lou is located on the main road of Melaka Raya, opposite to the OSK stockbroking firm and next to the Guardian pharmacy of Melaka Raya.
There were 18 dishes nicely prepared and garnished by the chef, Zhi Ming (translation). Some of those are in the menu whereas some of the new dishes would be added to the menu.