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In our memory of Mother Low and Victor Chan

By Compassion, Wisdom
Victor Chan (in the center with black t-shirt) and friends at Pulau Redang year 2008

Victor Chan (in the center with black t-shirt) and friends at the Pulau Redang year 2008; Ah Too is in this picture with blue t-shirt.

Today I received two shocking news in an hour: my best friend, Ah Too’s mother (Mother Low) and my best friend Victor Chan passed away. It was really heartbreaking. Most of my friends could not believe when I sent them a text telling them about these two news in a short period of time, even myself when I was told initially.

I met Ah Too’s mother few weeks ago when I went to Ah Too’s house in Melaka. She was always a good mother, a family-loving person, and also a kind and soft-hearted person to us. Few days after I met her, she was admitted to hospital because of the stroke caused by high-blood pressure that she suffered from. That time, brain surgery was necessary and few days after the surgery she remained unconscious until today’s noon when she took her last breath. The sickness came unpredictable but the death was expected as told by the doctor few days ago. It was really sad when we heard about the lost of Mother Low because she was always a second mother to us.

Victor was a good friend of mine since secondary school. We went to a few trips together including Pulau Penang, Pulau Langkawi, and Pulau Redang. When friends spoke to their parents about Victor, we described him as a fast-runner who lived in Klebang, Melaka. He was always a talented guy who kept seeking to learn more. Victor was always helpful and he gave me many advices on web-design and travelling. Few weeks ago, we talked on the phone about designing a website together and shared information about photography. We were planning to meet on Chinese New Year. Today, he left us without any sign and made most of us heartbreaking.

Ah Too and his family were fine when I met them this evening. They were calm and prepared as told by the doctor few days ago. Victor’s death was really a shock to everybody as he passed away on his sleep today. We could not imagine how his family, partner and friends would feel right now. All we can do is to pray for the both of them.

In the memory of Mother Low and Victor Chan: Both of you and your kindness shall always be remembered and missed by all of us. May you be blessed and may you reach the land of divine love.

A wise man once told me: It is absolutely certain that we will die, and it is uncertain when or how we will die. Some people have the thinking of death being natural and it happens to everybody. It has no big deal.

That’s a nice theory until one is dying. Mostly all of the greatest spiritual traditions in this world have told us clearly that death is not the end. However, the majority of this modern society imagines that this life is all that there is. Without any real or authentic faith in an afterlife, most people live lives deprived of any ultimate meaning.

Those who believe they have plenty of time get ready only at the time of death. Then they are ravaged by regret. But isn’t it far too late?

Looking deeply into the way that we care for the dying, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, a Swiss-born psychiatrist and the author of the groundbreaking book On Death and Dying, has shown that with unconditional love, and a more enlightened attitude, dying can be a peaceful, even transformative experience.